100 Things (A WIP)

1. I cannot start my day without coffee. Pre-caffeine, I am cranky, foggy headed, and grumpy. I used to drink most of a pot each morning, starting before I left the house and drinking until lunchtime. Sometimes, a fresh pot would have to be brewed at 3:00. These days, I just stick with my travel mug, and maybe a supplemental cup from Starbucks in the afternoon.

2. I once lived in a house with six cats, one small dog, two bearded dragons, and an anole. While it was fun to have so many critters around to cuddle with, I’ll never have that many pets again.

3. I spent years and years typing with only my right hand. It wasn’t a hunt-and-peck sort of deal, either. I could keep up with people who had taken typing classes, and it didn’t slow me down even a little. I finally had to start using my left hand when I hurt my right arm by overusing it for typing and mousing at my 9-5 office job.

4. I never read (or knit) just one thing at a time.

5. I have a habit of leaving glasses of water all over the house, with just a few inches of water left in them. Sometimes, I’ll have several clustered on the bathroom sink or my dresser. Other times, they’ll be spread between rooms. Sometimes both. Its like the little girl from Signs, who leaves her glasses of water lying around because they have aemobeas in them, but when they aliens came, the water scared them and turned out to be a great weapon, and everyone was sorry they picked on her. Except that I’m still waiting for the aliens.

6. I think that popcorn is one of the world’s more perfect foods.

7. I am petrified of roller coasters, or anything else that involves falling. Or feeling like I’m falling. Or the potential to fall.

8. The Ring is the scariest movie I have ever seen, except for maybe The Grudge. I’m not sure which one frightens me more because I won’t ever watch either one again to find out.

9. I want a pet bat.

10. I’ve preferred diet soda over regular for as long as I can remember. These days, Coke Zero is the one true path.

11. My birthday is November 23 (feel free to send pressies). That makes me a Sagittarius with Scorpio tendencies, which is pretty accurate. And also? A little scary.

12. The sound of a smoke detector can render me incapacitated.

13. I love to explore old cemeteries, and take pictures of the headstones and monuments. No, I don’t think its morbid.

14. In my world, Appalachian Trail thru-hikers are cooler than rock stars. I wish I thought that I could be that hard-core.

15. I went to Disney World on my honeymoon. I was worried that it wouldn’t be everything a honeymoon should be, but it was perfect and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

16. I jump into learning new things with both feet, but don’t tend to follow through. I’m not so good at the practicing thing.

17. I have no problem reading half of a book (or even less), then putting it away without finishing it.

18. I am a terrible speller. I’ve come to accept it as a personal weakness, and refuse to stress over spellchecking and proofreading things that I don’t think matter.

19. I don’t like looking into reflective surfaces when its dark. This includes but is not limited to looking into mirrors in dark rooms or out windows into the darkness.

20. I love the smell of bleach.

21. I take my sleeping conditions very seriously. Before I can go to sleep at night, everything has to be JUST SO. I’m like the Princess and the Pea, on crack. There have to be pillows of just the right height and firmness. There must be a fluffy blanket with weight to it. The temperature must be just this side of too cold. There can’t be too much light, and there has to be some sort of white noise.

22. I really, really hate being drunk. Because inevitably, I decide that I’m done being drunk long before I’m sober again, and that just sucks. There’s nothing worse than being drunk when you don’t want to be. At some point, my mother taught me that I should always stop drinking when the tip of my nose starts to tingle, and that advice has served me well.

23. My first car was a red 1983 Chevy Camero named Amber. It cost me $250 and was a total nightmare. It guzzled gas, was broken down as much as it ran, overheated if you looked at it wrong, had no AC and left me stranded in strange places on more than one occasion. Eventually, I sold the car to a friend for $100.

24. When I was a kid, my grandmother gave me a faux fur coat for Christmas. It was wonderfully warm and I loved it for the rest of winter break. When school started again, the other kids on my bus persisted in asking me why I killed my dog. For some reason, it was really, really traumatizing. I’ll never wear anything resembling fur again, and am still really twitchy about what I wear in public, and what other people will think of it.

25. I was a cheerleader in high school. I tried out because my best friend at the time was afraid to do it alone, but wound up staying a year longer than she did. Everyone else on the squad hated me. I was okay with that.

26. I tried learning how to play the guitar once. I got as far as being able to play Silent Lucidity and the first 5 notes of Wish You Were Here before I gave up.

27. I don’t like grape flavored candy. It always reminds me of children’s cold medicine.

28. I hate being cold. Left entirely to my own devices, I would probably move someplace tropical.

29. Poppy Z. Brite is my favorite author, ever. My husband took me to hear her read in New Orleans, and I was absolutely thrilled, even though I had nothing intelligent to say to her.

30. I have an uncanny knack for remembering song lyrics. I can’t always recall them cold, but I generally only have to hear a song once to be able to sing along with it.

31. Numbers are my kryptonite. Math makes me want to cry, and I still have to use my fingers for simple addition and multiplication.

32. I eat Cool Whip straight from the container with a spoon, and I don’t feel guilty about it anymore.

33. I spent three semesters at Washington College, a tiny little liberal arts school in Maryland. I took a lot of psychology and literature courses because I couldn’t decide if I wanted to get into adolescent counseling or be a basic skills high school English teacher. In the end, I decided that either way, having to work within the system would only piss me off, and I was working way too hard for a job that I would burn out at in a matter of years.

34. I’m a professional massage therapist. I think I have the best job in the world, even on its worst days.

35. My first “real” job was as a summer nanny for two school aged children. It was fantastic. We played roller hockey, swam in their in-ground pool, played with their air hockey table, bonded over Goosebumps books and I got their 10 year old son hooked on All My Children.

36. I have also worked as an environmental camp counselor, a telemarketer, a marketing manager for that telemarketing company, the office manager at a real estate appraisal office and a creative movement company and as a preschool creative movement teacher.

37. I’ve worn my hair long since middle school. At its peak, it brushed my hips and at its shortest, its fallen to just below my shoulder blades. I can’t ever imagine wanting to really cut it, but if I did, I would make it very, very short and pixieish.

38. I hate and despise cleaning, but have always wanted to have a perfectly tidy home like you see in magazines.

39. I have oatmeal for breakfast nearly every day, and have for about three years running. Always the same way–quick-cooking oats made with just enough water to give the oatmeal the consistency of napalm, a small handfull of raisins, and a few teaspoons of brown sugar.

40. My tolerance for both board and video games is extremely limited. This is unfortunate, because they are two of my husbands favorite things.

41. In my next life, I want to own and manage a coffee shop/wine bar.

42. I would like to live on a fiber farm, except that I don’t think I have it in me to handle farm chores. Just feeding my cat is challenge enough.

43. Talking on the phone is one of my least favorite things to do. It may be that I overdid it as a teenager, or that five years of working at a telemarketing firm scarred me, but as a general rule, the faster I can hang up, the better.

44. I have never really gotten the hang of commas. Despite having taken umpteen Literature courses in college and editing both the high school newspaper and literary magazine, I still throw them in mostly where I would pause if I were speaking.

45. The house I grew up in was built sometime before the turn of the century in a pretty classic two-story frame style. When my parents bought it, it had no electric, no running water, crumbling plaster walls, and was generally uninhabitable. They renovated it one room at a time, and we moved in well before it was finished. There is still an entire room that is untouched. The whole process has made me very fond of old houses, and I still often see homes that have gone past the point of “fixer-uppers” and on to being “burner-downers” and think that they need me. I think its genetic, since my brother recently bought a house that needed a near-complete renovation and fixed it up himself.

46. I have eaten shark, squid, snail, octopus, urchin, conch, boudin (French, not Cajun), alligator and frog and some manner of pig organ that I can no longer remember. (Possibly it was intestine.) There are probably some other strange things that I’m forgetting. As a rule, I will try eating nearly anything at least once and have found very few things that I actively dislike. I’m generally of the opinion that most things aren’t bad, they are just prepared in a way you don’t like. It may be that I draw the line at bugs, but I don’t think I’ll know until it actually comes up.

47. I don’t like iced tea. I have found a few exceptions, but even those don’t make me want to drink a whole glass. I’m also not a fan of hot black tea. It just makes me wish I had coffee. I enjoy hot herbal tea with just a little honey, but I only really drink it when I’m sick.

48. I get chronic headaches and have since I was a child. No one has ever been able to reliably tell me why. I’ve had my eyes tested, been through MRIs and had bloodwork done. Its only been very recently that someone thought to consider that maybe my muscles are just really tight. Electric stim and chiropractic adjustments made a difference almost immediately.

49. I almost never wear tennis shoes. I have a pair of Converse, if an occasion calls for sneakers and I have a pair of trail runners that I wear to the gym or for light hiking. The reason I never wear them is because I have always felt like no matter what pair I try on, they make my feet look big and clunky, and they look stupid with my jeans (or khakis or shorts). This makes no sense because I don’t think twice about wearing big, clunky Doc Martens with anything in my closet.

50. I think its totally hot when girly-girls engage in things typically seen as masculine, like working on cars or riding motorcycles or doing construction.

51. I made a point to learn how to change the oil in my own car. I did it once and if there is any way to help it, I will never do it again.

52. I have always wished that I could draw. I don’t want to learn to do it–I want to have a natural talent for it. Ditto with singing.

53.  As  child, I would sit on the front porch and play with Daddy Longlegs.  (You know, those weird, spindly legged spider things?)  I’d catch them and let them crawl up and down my arms and hold them by one leg to inspect their weird little faces.  At some point, though, I became terrified of them.  No idea why.

54.  I am terrified to stick my hand down a garbage disposal to fish something out.  Too many gory movies.  Even if I am all alone in the house and there is no one who could possibly turn the thing on, I put my hand down there with great hesitation and get it out as quickly as possible.

55.  I have never broken a bone, or had to be in a hospital overnight.  The only time I have even been in one for an extended time was when I sat with my sister-in-law for about ten hours, waiting for my nephew to be born.

56.  I still stick canned black olives on the tips of my fingers during family holiday gatherings, just like I did when I was six.

57.  My favorite herb is rosemary.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Christine
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 22:18:01

    Sometimes it still surprises me how much we have in common.

    I’m not with you on the roller coasters thing. I’m terrified of them, and of falling, but it somehow doesn’t stop me.


  2. Jason
    Jul 31, 2008 @ 18:32:57

    I can’t tell you how happy #15 makes me. I’ve always been secretly worried that you still wished we’d done something else. *feels all warm & happy inside*


  3. pia
    Nov 03, 2008 @ 20:55:21

    I am SO with you on #5. Currently, I have about 5 glasses that my husband is refusing to pick up throughout our house.


  4. Wendy
    Feb 23, 2010 @ 18:18:35

    Love you’re start to 100 things…mind if I flatter via imitation!? Hopefully I can better master blogging! I love to read blogs, just started my own…have the same angst I had having to go to the principal’s office…not that I did that alot…but the few times I did left a lasting impression to be sure!!! Thx for sharing!


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